56 Gardner Street, North Laine

Those who know me will see from these two pictures why I would be seduced by Sejuice. I’m a bit of a sucker for anything that involves a retro feel, especially pin-up girls. I can remember when Sejuice was first breaking ground. Straight away I knew I would be checking it out based merely on the fact that the new owners must have style.

My intense research (aka Google) into Sejuice’s beginnings have revealed that owners Sarah and Stephen Mulheron chucked it all in to open their own business and were invited to take part of Channel 4’s Risking It All. Adventures like this really move me. I believe there can be nothing better than to be your own boss. Long hours, lots of responsibility but at the end of the day it’s you who’s in control of your own destiny. Not to get all “Tom Cruise” on you or anything but it’s true. So many people have had enough of the fast life in the big city and slip down to Brighton to pursue their Mom & Pop-owned dreams. Does my heart good, it does.

Can’t be a bad thing when you like what you ordered the first time so much that you order it again on your next visit. (I do know that I need to break up with the gorgonzola and spinach gnocchi at Carluccio’s though. I think 5 times is enough.) So when I took the Girl Wonder with me on my second visit I opted for the yummy Greta Garbo wrap that has warm, roasted butternut squash, cranberry sauce, goat’s cheese and roquette. YUM. The GW opted for the Thai Green Chicken wrap (forgive me, I don’t remember the name. I knew I should’ve nicked a menu!) and both were served with a side salad (read: garnish) and some Doritos. I have to say, a place such as Sejuice should really go upmarket with the crisps; perhaps some lovely veggie crisps? Doritos are way too common for wraps as lovely as theirs.

Other goodies include homemade soup o’ the day, salads and other light-lunch type goodies. Might not be the best place to take the menfolk. It strikes me as very yummy-mummy/ladies-who-lunch-lightly. Sadly, they’re also perpetrators of my newest culinary faux pas: the Spiky Lettuce. I can never remember what the hell it’s called but I do know that kitchens use it to bulk up salads and it’s just really unpleasant on the palate. My last salad at the George-it was ENTIRELY composed of Spiky Lettuce. I was so not impressed. Since here it’s only a garnish, I’ll let it slide.

Above all else Sejuice is a juice bar. That makes about 4 total I believe on Gardner Street and Bond Street alone. With such competition they best have an edge that will lure in the local juiceheads. I think that their design/vibe/decor definitely gives them an edge:

They very nicely have all the smoothies arranged by prime ingredient. So for those of you (my husband) who whinge about bananas always being in the foreground you can see for yourself whether or not your smoothie will be ‘nana-free. Me, I had the Indian Summer smoothie which was listed under the Mango offerings and included some chilli jelly for a bit of zing. It was very lovely but I’m afraid I didn’t get any zing. I felt a bit bummed but I got over it.

(Note to self: next time, ask for more zing.)

4 Pool Valley, Old Lanes (next to Bus Station)

I’m always in two minds as to whether or not it’s worth blogging what are considered (and rightfully so) to be Brighton institutions. Then I think of the weary traveller who perhaps has come across my blog in search of a place to rest their weary feet after their sojourn to the seaside. So I know that I should, nae, I must blog such lovely wee places such as our historical Mock Turtle.

I was first recommended the Mock Turtle by my good friend “S”. So last Christmas when my gran was over for an extended visit we took a few trips here merely because I knew this was going to most likely be the only tea shop in Brighton that my granny, she of the gluten-free persuasion, could enjoy a cuppa and a treat. This is due to their infamous meringues. To say that they are large is an understatement and like all the other baked goodies at the Mock Turtle, they are handmade on the premises. They came in a variety of wonderfully delicious flavours that change daily, including vanilla, raspberry and coffee.

I finally took Stephen there this past Sunday (he being the MT virgin) and I indulged in a vanilla one, as a shout-out of sorts to my gran. I did not, however, pour out my tea on the sidewalk in her honour. (To self: Do I leave in this joke, knowing that most of the British population won’t get it? What the hell. It makes me giggle and if they’ve at least seen Austin Powers or have any knowledge of hip-hop culture whatsoever, they just might get it.) Stephen indulged in the vanilla cheesecake and a mocha and I chose some lovely Fentiman’s ginger beer to accompany my meringue.

Yeah, yeah. I know it’s a teashop but we are having some VERY warm weather here. Warm for England anyways. For those looking for a wonderful cuppa, trust me, this is the real deal. They bring out all the hoopla necessary for a good cup of tea, including loose tea leaves, strainer, etc. The Girl Wonder was quite impressed, she being of the tea-snob persuasion. I can never seem to get the hack of it and half the time I’m topping up my tea without using the strainer. It makes me feel like such a big Yank.

My Yank sensibilities also love a good donut. I remember swooping down upon Krispy Kreme in Harrods food hall like common trailer trash. And biting into them only to get jam down the front of me, again, like common trailer trash. My momma would’ve been so proud! So when the Girl Wonder let me sample a bit of her homemade Mock Turtle jam donut, I wept on the inside, knowing that my allegiance to The Krispy Kreme was now unsettled, for this donut was, dare I say, superior in almost every way. I mean my God, just look at them! Are they not the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen?? They also have chocolate ones that are just smeared all over in chocolate frosting. What you can’t see is the huge squirt of fresh whipped cream that they inject into it before serving it up or that they are the size of a small grapefruit. They have them to take away as well. They’re also now open on Sundays.

If your appetite is crying out for more than a pastry and some tea, never fear because they also have light breakfast and lunch menus which includes fish and chips, salads, homemade soup, the best Welsh rarebit I’ve ever had and loads of other very English dishes. Sunday was the first time I’ve been back since the place changed hands, the previous owners having run it for 30 years and now enjoying their much-deserved retirement I imagine. Not much has changed, which is very comforting. There are still shelves stocked of homemade preserves and loads of different cakes and breads to take away, such as the banana and walnut pictured here. It’s all too picture-perfect, being the exact kind of place that the Old Dears love to stop off at before catching their bus back to Wherevershire or Someotherhampton after their day at the seaside. We had a table of them sitting right next to us and the dialogue-well, I couldn’t have made up better stuff if I tried:

“I hear that they might get married but she’s nervous ya know, not one to commit, especially these days who can blame her what with over half of marriages failing!”

“There is really nothing like a nice cuppa tea. I guess that’s just how us English are, everything in the world stops for tea! And look at this lovely blue and white crockery, I just love it! My friend Ethel has a very similar set herself.”

“Oh look at the lovely shadowboxes they have on the wall! I started doing those myself, shadowboxes!”

“My word, would you look at the size of those donuts! We could split one between the 3 of us, they’re so large! Mind you, I’m not one to eat lots of sweets, never really eat biscuits and such.”

“That bus is going to be so hot on the way home! Thank God it’s air-conditioned, I’m not used to this sort of heat!”

15 Black Lion Street, Old Lanes

Confession time. I’ve been avoiding this post simply because I think that the Cricketers is one of the best pubs in Brighton. I love the red velvet-y interior. You almost feel like Liberace himself gave counsel when they were designing it. Of course since it’s about 300-odd years old, he probably didn’t. I believe that it’s on record as the oldest pub in Brighton. They always have a good selection of beers available and it’s just so wonderfully cozy. There’s so much bric-a-brac all over the walls along with loads of mirrors. It all feels very brassy. I’ve never been upstairs but I have been through the doors and out into their garden area which spills out the back and also out the front so you can people-watch to your heart’s content all the livelong day. So when I decided that my quest for the Ultimate Pub Sunday Dinner was seriously lacking in its questness, I took a big step out of the North Laine and suggested that we go to the Cricketers.

Now. As you can see here the Cricketers are guilty of one of my biggest pet peeves-PACKETS of condiments. Who wants to be tearing apart 6 packets of ketchup just so they can get started on their meal?? And they’re never EASY to open either. I’ve highlighted the packet of tartare sauce here on the right simply because I can not comprehend why any eating establishment would have out on the table a condiment that is usually kept refrigerated. I went against my better judgment and squirted a bit on my fish. I had a quick flashback to my days of waiting tables, when at the end of the night the line (pick-up area) in the kitchen would be strewn with abandoned condiment cups. The tartare sauce always had a lovely yellow film and had gone the consistency of snot. Nice, isn’t it? That’s what you want on your fish, ladies and gents! Snot.

So as you might’ve guessed, I ordered the fish n’ chips and Stephen ordered the chili con carne. My camera was acting up so I didn’t get any actual photos of the food. It wasn’t exactly publishing-worthy. The food is pretty much your less-than-average overpriced pub fare, complete with above-mentioned annoying condiment packets. The fish was most definitely frozen and not even as good as the kind I get from Waitrose. Stephen’s chili portion was quite mean and pretty average as well. I was so disappointed. I really wanted to rave about the food here but it’s just….bad.

Alas, the Cricketers will always be one of my favourite drinking holes in Brighton but I will never ever attempt to eat there again.

44-47 Gardner Street, North Laine

Do you see this burger?? That’s right. Take a good long look at it. I am still quite the amateur at food photography and yet it still looks like you’d sell your granny for it. Kiwi-owned chain GBK has made it out of London and now Brightonians get to chow down on these most lovely of burgers. The one here on the left is their Stilton burger, accompanied with all the fixin’s. Can you see how the bun is lightly toasted? And how the Stilton sauce is just oozing off of it? Too bad I’ve got plans to go to Mojo’s tonight because I’d be all over GBK like a debt collector on payday. Their premise is simple: grab a table, decide which burger you’d like from one of two lifesize menus on the wall and then go up, place your order and pay. GBK keeps it simple. No desserts, sides are either salad or fries BUT there is booze. And kid’s meals. And milkshakes. I haven’t had one but Stephen gave it the thumbs-up.

The burgers range from your classic cheese or bacon to more adventurous offerings such as mango & chilli sauce, chicken, camembert & cranberry, chorizo & sweet potato, venison with redcurrant sauce and three types of veggie burgers; aubergine & goats cheese, falafel with raita and portabello musroom with rocket & pesto:

I had to take it apart and work from there. It was quite yummy. However, I needed to experience the beef burger and so went back and this time got my favourite combo; cheese, bacon & BBQ sauce. It was so incredibly messy and the first bite left relish down the front of my jumper but I did not care I tell you, such great lust I had for this burger! The portions of chips are massive (well, they’re massive when you’re trying to finish your burger) so we split one portion between the 3 of us and it was plenty!

The decor is beach-themed (of course, with the pebbles and the pics of old Brighton, etc) and there’s also an ever-changing backdrop of colour. I don’t see any need for all this showy flimflam! Just bring me my burger dammit! At least it’s nice and open for those brief summer days, complete with tables outside.

GBK is conveniently situated right next to Komedia if you’re planning an evening out there and is a fantastic place if you want something that’s not going to break the bank; their burgers are around £6-7 each depending on toppings. I’ve noticed that more places in the North Laine are attempting evening hours so now we have more choices than just the Dorset. All the places along Jubilee Street of course, there’s Mojo’s around the corner from the library, GBK’s neighbour, Pokeno Pies, and there’s a new Italian place on Sydney Street as well (sorry, the name escapes me but I know it’s BYO!).

For those of you who live in or near the North Laine, GBK also has a takeaway service. I have to stop writing now as it’s making me absolutely ravenous and my dinner reservation isn’t until eight.