Behold! The almighty Guatemalan Insanity Pepper! Chief Wiggum’s ticket to Chilli Cookoff Stardom and rival to the hottest chili in the world, the Naga Jolokia from India, the red-carpet star of this year’s Fiery Food Festival down at Brighton Marina. Not only did Fallen Angel Brewery brew it into their “Black Death” beer (which I knew better than to try) but Cocoa Loco has gone and mixed it in with their chocolate AND their brownies. I contemplated not trying but then my friend Sarah bought me some and I didn’t want to be rude. I paid for it later and I only had the tiniest of bites. Apparently the Naga Jolokia is about 8 times hotter than the Habanero (Scotch Bonnet) pepper which yours truly, even being a chili lover, is too afraid to handle without gloves.

So other than the lure of the world’s hottest chili, this year’s Fiery Foods fest had many other goodies to entice even the most timid of chili virgins. On hand to try was Moroccan, Caribbean, Indian and Chinese cuisine (but no Mexican! what is WITH these Brits?) as well as stall after stall of chutneys, jams, hot sauces, relishes, marinades and dried chilis. Stephen and I opted for Moroccan and had a very large and very lovely Moroccan chicken wrap which was scarfed down in less than 5 minutes due to the rain and lack of shelter.

One stall I made sure to visit was this one here. I have a serious weakness for Chili Jam (or Pepper Jam as it’s known in the States). I could dump an entire jar of it on a brick of Philadelphia cream cheese and slather it on crackers until I’m passed out on the sofa, knife in one hand and cracker in the other. We ran into the folks who run the Chili Queen’s “Chelly” stall and had a nice chat about possible places that could stock it here in Brighton. I did it purely for them, there was no selfish motivation there WHATSOEVER.

Also on hand was my main man with the ginger-dreads, Chili Pepper Pete. Pete has rescued me from having to bring back tin after tin of chipotle peppers from the States and has also turned me on to many other fantastic chili blends, like Peri Peri. His prices are incredibly reasonable and can be found at Taj, Infinity Foods and Sussex in the City. Of course, if you’re too lazy you can always order online. Stephen kept pressing me to ask him for a picture together but I was feeling a bit shy. I wish I did because he’s a dinner guest I’d love to have! She says a bit on the sly…

It was unfortunate that the weather was so incredibly shite all weekend long because I think that kept a lot of people away. I wish they could find a better venue than the Marina, which I avoid like the plague. Hopefully all of these fine goodies will be on display again this weekend at the Taste of Sussex Food Festival event on Jubilee Street and North Road. Be there or be *draws square shape with her fingers*!!

Firle, Lewes - off the A27

Look at the attitude on that rooster’s face. All I wanted was to take his picture and he fluffed right up and let me know who’s boss! Reminded me of the Goodfeathers mob from Tiny Toons. I reckon I was lucky he let me get as close as I did. I’m surprised I didn’t wake up the next morning to find broken eggs in my sheets.

Places like Middle Farm don’t happen to people like me every day. This would be because I don’t own a car. I don’t even have a driving license in this country because A-I can’t drive a geared car and B-the roads are just too. damn. narrow. Plus I nearly killed myself on a small roundabout that was installed in my hometown. I know that one day my faux-bohemian lifestyle will come to an end and I’ll have to sell out and pollute the air with car exhaust like everyone else but as of now I live a very insular life and visit those places only attainable on foot. Sometimes, by bus. So when friends offered a lift to “an organic farm” for a day out, I jumped at the chance.

This place is just so fantastic. It’s wonderful if you have small children because they have a massive open farm with picnic tables, swingsets and of course, friendly animals. We visited at the end of May and so many of the critters had recently given birth. It really was a sight to behold. A 26-year old donkey had even given birth! I had no idea donkeys could even live to be 26 let alone have babies at that age. They have chickens of every variety along with sheep, ducks, kittens, ferrets, guinea pigs, cows AND a turkey.

I soon found out that the reason our friends wanted to go was because apparently their cider shop has the largest selection of cider and perry in ALL THE GALAXY. Ok maybe not. Still, the collection was quite impressive. You grab a wee cup (reminiscent of a communion cup) and sample all the ciders. Well not ALL of them, otherwise you’d be on your face, but you get the idea. Then you purchase as you wish. Who knew that you could make wine from peaches? Or cherries? And that there were so many different kinds of mead? All the local brews and wines are on offer here as well. They also have an amazing food shop/deli with local offerings and a restaurant that I am definitely going to trek back to and sample. We brought back with us some Cheddar marbled with Guinness, some Papadeli Chilli Crackers, some local Sussex goat’s cheese and a Huntsman pie, which held Stephen over for two lunches. It was a savoury pie stuffed with ham, chicken and stuffing. He let me sample it. It was very good and very manly.

So since we’re being blessed with such lovely weather lately (although forecast is calling for rain the next 3 days), I recommend gathering the posse together and going to Middle Farm for a great day out. Just remember to bring your sunblock and don’t piss off the rooster. Or forget the cannoli.