UPSD #2: Ha! Ha! Bar and Canteen

2/3 Pavilion Buildings (ya know, by that big Pavilion-lookin’ thing)

Since I’ve just typed “Pavilion” twice, I feel like I need to come clean about something Pavilion-related. When Stephen and I found out we’d be moving to Brighton, I’d never been down here and had certainly never heard of any Pavilion. I remember talking to the estate agent on the phone and she was giving me directions to their office; “Go down and turn right before you get to the Pavilion-”, interrupted by me who had to inform her that I’d never been to Brighton and couldn’t really go by landmarks. I was certain that the Pavilion she was speaking of was going to be more of a bandstand-type thing and I thought to myself, “How festive! A bandstand!”. Then I remember going past the Pavilion (not knowing what it was) and saying to Stephen, “Wow! Check out that mosque!!”. Yes. Go on and laugh. I bet I’m not the only one (and when I say “one”, I mean non-Brit) who’s ever said that! Still, I’ve never felt so white and so Western.

I’ve mentioned before the Food on Friday deal that the Argus is publishing in the Guide every Friday. Well I’ve got a stack of vouchers, expiration marks geek-ily highlighted on each, and I decided it was high time to start using them. It was Sunday and since I’ve been slacking a bit in the UPSD department (well it is summer afterall; who wants hot beef and gravy when it’s 29 degrees out?) so I rang up my trusty Girl Wonder (Delphine) and off we went to the Ha! Ha! bar, voucher in tow.

All I can say for this place is that they are damn lucky the food was so tasty and that they have a primo location, especially for days that are meant to be whittled away in the sun, drinking cocktails and peoplewatching to your heart’s content. We arrived around noon and both of us Ha! Ha! virgins. With any pub, you figure you’re not going to get table service and have to order at the bar. No biggie. My god- the girl that served us looked like she had pulled an all-nighter and hadn’t gone home to sleep off her shift drinks. I believe the more crass term is “rode hard and put out wet”. She was in serious need of some good ol’ fashioned R and R. As I’ve said before, I’ve been in the business and so it’s not like I would go waltzing in to a hole-in-the-wall-type place where grizzled old men hover over their black pints of Guinness and ask for a pina colada. This place had a cocktail menu so I ordered a cocktail. When I ordered a caipirinha you would’ve thought that I’d asked her for one of her kidneys with the look she gave me. Ha Ha indeed, no tip for you my lovely. She also seemed really put out that we didn’t know our table number. We hadn’t a table yet because we were ordering, isn’t that how it usually goes? Most pubs give you a cool, weather-beaten wooden spoon with your number. That system seems more logical to me than snarling at your customers because they don’t know the number of the table they haven’t sat at yet. GWD and I both agreed that she needed a trip to Tickled and proceeded to chill outside and wait for our grub.

GWD ordered the fishcakes and yours truly ordered the tapas platter. The bar staff were sort of lingering over us so we felt a bit pressed to order. I figured the tapas platter is usually a winner (although, not always) and besides, I love having little bits of everything. It somehow feels more satisfying. We were brought our drinks which were perfectly lovely and then we were brought out this lovely little surprise. I’m a self-confessed condiment junkie. Stephen hates all the jars that lurk on the top shelf of our fridge but he also doesn’t seem to understand that most condiments pretty much never go off. He seems baffled by the fact that sugar and vinegar have been used as natural preservatives since the beginning of time. Is there anything worse than refrigerated ketchup?? Ugh. The labels on these bottles are a bit faded. Don’t tell me they just top them up instead of using new bottles. This is known in the business as “marrying ketchup” and it’s actually illegal in some States back home. If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of a volcanic Heinz bottle you’ll understand why. From left to right they are: Leaf Dressing, Yellow Devil Sauce and Tomato & Pepper Ketchup, all of which are available to purchase online. I tried a bit of the Yellow Devil Sauce with my falafel bites and it was a nice, zingy mustard-y type sauce. I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of my tapas and GWD was really impressed with her fishcakes:

Not sure if you can see this or not but those slices of chorizo were full-on. Not the wafer-thin slices you get when you buy them from the supermarket but nice and chunky, sliced right off a log of chorizo no doubt. My falafel bites were nicely crusted in sesame seeds and…non-dry (Hate the “M” word, not going to use it.), the olives were not of the lowbrow tinned variety, roasted peppers lovingly encasing hunks of feta, and of course, the obligatory and always welcome chargrilled pitta bread. Very filling as well; I had to pawn off some chorizo on the Girl Wonder.

I have to say tho, I’m a bit baffled as to why it’s called the Ha! Ha! Bar if it doesn’t have comedy
acts…? I could’ve sworn that someone told me
that they’ve gone to see comedy there before but
I tried looking all over the website and the only gigs
they’ve got booked here in Brighton are some DJ’s.
Weird. If anyone knows any differently please let me know. Cheers!