Bill’s Produce Store - Toddlers! Parents! Prams! Oh my!

North Road, North Laine

Picture it. Sicily. 1922.

Nah, not really. Actually picture a young woman returning home from her monthly book club meeting at the Jubilee Library. She ascends the cement back stairs behind the complex, as Jubilee Street is still under construction. When she gets to the top, what wonderous sight awaits her but this gorgeous new shop, lights all aglow with a shimmery new sign: “Bill’s”. In front of this shop (as she takes a proper nose around) are beautiful fruits and veggies. Brown or purple bell peppers and striped aubergines! A more serious peek reveals all sorts of wonderful food stuff , imported, local or Bill’s own label, aligning the very tall shelves which occupy the whole back of the place. Unfortunately, they’re not open. Not yet. But she’ll be back. Oh-will she ever.

Bill’s is quickly usurping the Basketmaker’s Pub as the worst-kept secret in the North Laine. It’s simple but eclectic and everchanging menu keeps people coming back again and again and again. My grandmother was here for 6 weeks and even though she couldn’t eat the majority of what was on the menu (being gluten intolerant) she still insisted on going every week for breakfast or lunch. Or dessert (you can’t eat both, trust me). It’s just a really lovely place. There is a bit of cafeteria-style seating with long wooden tables and there are also some 4-tops. They’ve become so popular that they’ve actually added a few tables upstairs (which I believe was formerly for employees only) and have opted to halve their produce section and add tables up there as well.

This childless woman also loves the sign that recommends parents to fold up their prams as there isn’t enough room. Can’t we just change it to “please fold up your children as there is very little room” instead? No? Fine. (When I have children I can pretty much guarantee that I won’t be bringing them along to Bill’s and forking out £5 for a fish finger (American: fish stick)sandwich which they A. most likely won’t eat and B. will make a huge ketchup-y mess of which will C. cause me to lecture them about wasting food even though they are only 2 and only care about Thomas the Tank Engine and CBeebies.)

Back to the food. The food is fantastic, it’s so different from the majority of cafes who pretty much all offer the exact same fare (chicken tikka, egg mayo and the like). There is a constant breakfast/lunch menu atop all of the tables but the real magic is in the sky, my friends. If you look up you will see all the blackboard menus that change daily; quiches, tarts, pizzas (all which are served with your choice of 2 salads of the day; I recommend the yellow tomato salad and the red-cabbage slaw), specials, smoothies, juices, paninis, ciabattas AND desserts. Oh. The desserts. As I’ve mentioned, you can not finish one of these unless you make it your entire meal. I once ate about 2/3 of my banoffee tiramisu after eating a quiche platter and that was really forcing it. Still, I was only mildly regretful when I was in severe discomfort for the rest of the day.

What really stands out about Bill’s is that they are really big on presentation (as you can see by my lovely pinenut, pesto and courgette pizza with all the trimms) and incorporating as many fresh ingredients as humanly possible onto one dish. This may put some people off. Personally, I love it. I especially love that no matter what my husband orders he says “What’s this??” at least twice while routing around on his place. (Don’t panic, dear, it’s only a purple potato.) I feel a bit sad that they no longer seem to be offering their tapas plate. I loved the teeny pots of homemade (of course) guacamole, roasted cumin & red pepper hummus and baba ganoush. Then they would toss on a variety of olives, cheese, veggies and of course–loads of yummy toasted flat bread! I should ask them about it. They already know us by name anyways.

I feel the need to mention one semi-critical thing about Bill’s because I feel like I’m foodgeeking way too hard here. I do not believe that their coffee and tea is FairTrade. In fact, this past FairTrade fortnight taught me that there are only TWO certified cafes in the entire North Laine, Infinity Cafe and Offbeat Coffee Bar. It’s really inexcusable but I will pry myself down before I get all the way up on my pedestal and alienate my blooming demographic. The thing is that Bill’s totally caters to this PC Yummy Mummy-type of crowd so why no love for the coffee farmers? They have nothing to lose by switching over. I could be wrong but do I really want to ask? Do I really want to become one of those “Does this have gluten/dairy/soy/wheat?” people or one of the “Is this free range/organic/FairTrade/biodynamic/pretentious enough for Gwyneth, Chris and Apple?” crowd. I don’t but I will ask nonetheless. For the farmers, man. For the farmers.